Stanley the Gaming Stand-up Cat says

What do you call a professional speech course on planet Kerbin?

Verbal Ace Program

What do you call a child whose parents have been turned into farm animals by a mage?

A polymorphan

What do you call a wizard who teaches that breaking locks is wrong?

An alohomoralist

Unreal Tournament 2004 © Epic Games 2004

The Oracle says

Easy work does not pay off, no matter how hard you do it.

Every question is stupid if left unasked.

If you ain't broke, don't fix it yourself.

Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will be mad that you have ceased to give free food.

Never say ever.

Try to save the dead horse if it is still alive.

No man is an island. More like... the wreckage of a ship that crashed on the island.

The enemy of my enemy is myself.

The pen is mightier than the sword. And an army of longbowmen is even mightier than that.

And the Teuton saith unto the Briton, "Wololo." And answereth the Briton and saith, "Ich bin ein Berliner."

The Universe answers audience's deepest questions

If God is benevolent, why is there evil in the world?

Evil is only an illusion when observing 4 dimensional morality in lower dimensions. There actually exists a rigid transformation that turns a murder into adopting an orphan in 4D.

Will there ever be peace on Earth?

There's always peace on Earth in many places. Just not in the Middle-East.

What is the meaning of Life?


Do we have free wifi?

Yes. Ask the receptionist for the password, please.

Oh, I'm sorry. I meant, do we have free will?

You are free to make your own decisions that I already know you're going to make. Free will is a poorly defined philosophical construction that may or may not apply to this arrangement.

Are cats highly intelligent creatures?


Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

The egg. Many amniotes including dinosaurs have been laying eggs for 300 million years. The chicken was domesticated only 9000 years ago.

Games of the Years

Star Wars Jedi Knight 2: Jedi Outcast
Wolfenstein: Enemy Territory
Unreal Tournament 2004
World of Warcraft
Garry's Mod
Team Fortress 2
Left 4 Dead
Mass Effect 2
Deus Ex: Human Revolution
Dota 2
Cities: Skylines
Mario Kart 8 Deluxe

Game Maker games by me

Temporal Paradox A time travel puzzle game I made in Game Maker

match A clone of SameGame made in Game Maker

Defend the Rampart! A game I made in comprehensive school (on spare time) with my friend Stuffguy. Click on missiles. Defend the wall.

Game maker games by my friends

Blox the Game Stuffguy's platform game

Gubbe Hunttingi Oscar von Mardigain's adventure game

Gubbe KaMaiJak Oscar von Mardigain's sequel to Gubbe Hunttingi

Ripenoli Infection Ripenoli's adventure game


Unreal Tournament 2004 © Epic Games 2004

I'd rather be on...

No affiliation. I just happen to like them.

I published the first version of this website on 4th of December, 2005.

My other site

My online presence is split into two websites, each one of which serves a different, often imaginary audience. is a presentable business card site. is an unholy mess. It's very important to me.

See you on the other side